The joy of networking

Stepping outside the comfort zone

I take a deep breath and step inside the room. People cluster everywhere chatting, laughing, hahaha. Who do I know? No, I’m here to make new contacts. Hmm, drinks in the corner, I’ll work my way over there and hope like hell I get talking to someone. How long before I can slip away? Oh, the joy of networking.

It's easy to underestimate the courage needed to sally forth and network; something we continually encourage our clients to do to expand their job seeking beyond newspaper and Internet vacancies.

At one level networking is simply about doing what we already do. It's about asking an aunty, brother, friend or fellow churchgoer whether they know of possible job openings, or whether they have an aunty, brother, friend or fellow churchgoer within their circles that might. I got my first paid career counselling job after chatting to a career counsellor at a function. I regularly get writing jobs through other journalist colleagues. Like others, I also enjoy connecting people up if I can.

But it can become stressful pushing networking to the next level of attending events, workshops or seminars to develop contacts. Sure, I’m an outgoing person and find it easy enough to start up conversations. I just don’t feel comfortable foisting my business card onto someone who hasn’t requested it. In fact, I bend over backwards to avoid doing that, which is crazy in itself.

Networking is a give and take situation

Two years ago, to avoid feeling hypocritical about encouraging clients to network when I disliked doing it myself, I canvassed experts for advice on best practice with networking. Their message? To approach networking as a give and take, not a take-take. Think of it as building relationships with people, rather than trying to bleed them dry of their ideas and contacts in the first meeting.

One businessman nailed it for me when he talked about his struggle as an introvert with networking. He overcame his natural reticence when he realised the people he remembered most, in and out of business, were those that interested him beyond what they did or sold. Lesson learned – ask questions that lead to a decent chat and then genuinely listen! It could be about a recent seminar, new piece of technology, a book, a sports game… Taking that advice has certainly made it easier for me to network with new people.

Networking gurus talk about two types of networkers: hunters and farmers. The hunter roves the room handing out business cards, inveigling themselves into conversations, and using social events to promote themselves. The farmer ploughs the field (gets known), plants the seed (gains acceptance), and reaps the crop (gains from a relationship that involves giving and taking). Although I’m not sure about the dirty fingernails, I’d rather grow networks than trap people in a corner. And farming is a great metaphor to use with clients when encouraging them to go networking beyond their immediate circles.

Networking in cyberspace - three golden rules

Great, I thought, I’ve nailed networking! And then what happens? Social networking sites arrive on the scene, opening us up to huge global online communities. I prided myself on keeping up with technology (Internet, Skype, iPod) but social networking overwhelms me. I’m not sure whether I should be tweeting, twittering, beboing or messaging.

People seem to use everything, from networking websites like LinkedIn and RealContacts, to Facebook, Bebo and YouTube, among others. These sites are the 21st Century version of aunty, brother, friend and fellow churchgoers. They circle the globe and can’t be ignored when increasing numbers of organisations are using them to recruit, as well as brand. Is this finally a way to network without having to front up to events and wave my business cards? Is this why young clients are so enthusiastic about it?

How do you network smartly in cyberspace? According to Internet business gurus, you need to remember the following:

• Have something interesting to say.
• Don’t send out unsolicited messages.
• Think carefully about how you want to present yourself.

Really this is not dissimilar to face-to-face networking, except no one can see your red face as you drop a clanger, or hear your cellphone ping at an inappropriate moment. On the other hand, the written word tends to stay around for a long long time. Once you press "send" there is no taking your message back, and you can’t see the recipient’s reaction. Then there are the oft-mentioned situations where someone’s smart aleck comment on Facebook about a disagreement with a boss, or their boredom at work, leads to unfortunate consequences.

I’m LinkedIn but I’m not sure how. Offers to become LinkedIn, or gain a friend, pop into my inbox at the most inconvenient times and often sit unopened for days. I haven’t yet invited anyone to be LinkedIn...but I will... I think. I set up Facebook when a friend went overseas but now it floats neglected, gathering cyber dust. Are all these examples like a business card that ends up forgotten at the bottom of someone’s briefcase? Where do you start? Where do you stop?