Diaphoresisor

The diaphoresis, or sweat, of the region’s foremost athletes is highly valued, with many people believing that ingesting it will enhance their physical abilities. However, the old saying – no sweat – doesn’t really apply to the tasks involved in becoming a successful sweat collector.

Although sweat collectors may not work quite as hard as marathon runners, their task is no walk in the park. Sweat from athletes is absorbed into a foam-like material made from sheep and horse intestines, which they wear underneath their clothing. You will need to cut and fit this for competitors.

You will then collect the material from the athletes and put it through a highly scientific filtering process – you will use your bare hands to squeeze the energy juices into a wooden bucket – after which it will be sold to desperate, puny and under-sized clients hoping to gain an ounce of their heroes’ abilities.

Tasks & duties

• Customising sweat absorbers to fit athletes.
• Fitting sweat absorbers under athletes’ clothing.
• Collecting the sweat absorbers after sporting events.
• Collecting sweat in a bucket.

Personal requirements

• Good knowledge of biomechanics and anatomy.
• Problem-solving skills.
• A can-do attitude, along with persuasiveness and persistence.