Roadkill collector

Are you an outdoors person who wants to make the countryside more attractive? Are you a thrill-seeker who enjoys working at a fast pace? If you answered yes to these questions then this position could be right up your alley (or highway).

As a roadkill collector you will get to cruise the open roads of our main highways looking for dead animals to dispose of. The carcasses will be different sizes and in various states of decay. Sometimes it will require quite some effort to separate them from the road’s surface. Smaller animals will regularly fall to bits at your touch. You will need to be adept at avoiding fast, oncoming traffic.

Pay is minimum wage but you will get to work outdoors all day, job security is excellent and nobody will bother you (although in 2006 a roadkill collector in Washington County claimed that a bigfoot stole a dead deer from his truck). For an added bonus you may also find yourself losing weight because you skip all your meal breaks.

Tasks & duties

• Driving along main highways.
• Finding dead animals to remove from roads and roadsides.
• Disposing of animal carcasses.

Personal requirements

• Full driver’s licence.
• Good physical fitness and strength (to remove larger animals such as deer).
• Excellent traffic-avoiding abilities.