Petardier's assistant

This job will blow you away – literally.

Imagine the excitement of defusing bombs while covered head to toe in high-tech protective clothing after you've had years of intensive training. You'll risk your life to go in behind police lines and fiddle with complicated fuses and explosives to stop a detonation in time and save the world.

Well, this job is nothing like that – in fact, it's the exact opposite. Picture yourself in flimsy clothes, blind drunk, carrying a bell-shaped, gunpowder-filled container of brass or iron fixed to a wooden board – the petard. Imagine yourself being shot at by musketeers while you try to reach the enemy's castle gate. You attach the petard to the gate, adjust your taper, light the fuse and start to run away from the blast very, very fast, though probably not fast enough.

Now imagine yourself, blown into a thousand bloody bits, flying through the air… New vacancies are constantly coming up. Superannuation not included in package.

Tasks & duties

• Filling containers with gunpowder.
• Dodging musketeers’ shots.
• Fixing petards to enemy castle gates.
• Lighting petards.
• Running!

Personal requirements

• Smaller workers are often preferred for this job (as they are harder to hit).
• Good physical fitness and strength (ideal but not essential).
• An ability to (blindly) follow instructions.
• A sense of adventure.