Conversation starters

Being responsible for guiding your child towards their future career can often feel overwhelming. It can be frustrating when your child does not listen to you or take your advice. But you may be surprised to learn that research suggests parents are some of the biggest influencers in their child’s decision making.

So stay positive. You may not even realise how many casual career conversations you’ve already had with your child. For example, you may have talked to your child about a famous All Black and wondered together about how much he earns.

Here are some helpful tips on how to have a career conversation with your child, and when the best times may be to do that. Remember that you know your child best. Follow your gut feeling and use the tips as a guide.

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Helpful hints for having a career conversation with your child

• Ask your child questions that will help them to look at themselves. Focus on their interests, things they are good at and their personal values.

Skill Matcher – match your child’s best skills to job ideas

• If your child does not have a specific career idea in mind, ask them to define broad areas of interest, such as helping their friends organising a party.
• Encourage them to investigate the options related to each area.

Jobs by Interest – discover jobs that match your child’s interests

• Discuss what your child needs or wants from their career. Attitudes towards money, security or self-development may help to identify career options.
• Don’t impose ideas but ask questions to clarify an issue. For example, “This is a desk job but you said that you would like to meet different people all the time? Does that matter?”
• Encourage your child in any activity that develops skills. Many important transferable skills that employers are looking for are developed at school. Skills are also gathered from part-time work, holiday jobs, and leisure activities such as sports.
• Discuss subject choices with your child each year. Would they rather keep their options open? Or if they know what they want, what are the best subjects for them to choose?

Helping your child with subject choice
How to understand NCEA

• Offer your support.

Skills and abilities you need to engage with your child

Listening: Listen patiently. Try to avoid correcting your child, or rushing into solutions. Your child may just want to talk without getting answers.

Guiding: Make suggestions and offer advice. Don’t force them into anything. This may push them away.

Questioning: Ask questions that will help your children to clarify their interests, sports, hobbies and academic subjects.

Lateral thinking: Help your child to see links between skills, interests and jobs.

Encouraging: Let your child know that you are there to support and help them in whatever way they need.

Stay positive

You may think that you don’t have experience and that there are hundreds of jobs that you have never heard of, let alone considered. Don’t let this deter you; just remain positive and keep the lines of communication open.

Try not to discourage your child with comments such as "That’s not right for you". Those comments will push your child away. A better approach is to explore their reasoning for a certain career and help them find out for themselves if this is the right choice.

Most importantly, encourage your child in all aspects of their lives, including school, hobbies, sport or part-time employment. All these aspects will help form them, and guide them towards the right career.